“Love the One You’re With”: A Practical Philosophy for Finding Contentment in the Present.
In the swirling, often turbulent currents of the late 1960s and early 1970s, where idealism clashed with harsh realities and personal liberation sought new expressions, Stephen Stills emerged as a singular voice, a master craftsman of song whose melodies and lyrics resonated with the very spirit of the times. While his work with Buffalo Springfield and Crosby, Stills & Nash (and Young) cemented his legend, it was his foray into solo territory that yielded some of his most personal and enduring statements. Among these, the infectious and philosophically astute “Love the One You’re With” stands as a beacon, a catchy anthem that, beneath its seemingly simple message, offered a pragmatic guide to navigating emotional complexities and finding joy in immediate surroundings. For older readers, it serves as a nostalgic touchstone, evoking an era of searching, self-discovery, and the evolving understanding of what truly constitutes love and happiness.
Released in November 1970 as the lead single from his highly anticipated debut self-titled album, Stephen Stills, “Love the One You’re With” immediately captivated audiences. It swiftly became Stephen Stills’ biggest hit single as a solo artist, peaking at an impressive number 14 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart in early 1971. The album itself was also a commercial success, reaching number 3 on the Billboard 200 album chart and quickly being certified Gold, solidifying Stills’s formidable presence even outside the supergroup context. For those of us tuned into the radio back then, the song’s uplifting rhythm and unforgettable chorus were constant companions, a feel-good track that suggested a new, perhaps more realistic, approach to matters of the heart.
The intriguing story behind “Love the One You’re With” traces back to a casual remark made by another musical titan. Stills wrote the song after being inspired by a phrase he heard from the prolific keyboardist and gospel musician Billy Preston. The full adage, often attributed to Preston, was something along the lines of: “If you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with.” Stills, recognizing the profound and universal truth embedded in this simple line, immediately asked Preston if he could use it as the basis for a song. Preston, gracious as ever, assented, and Stills proceeded to craft the vibrant, steel drum-infused folk-rock classic around this core philosophical gem. This collaborative spark between two remarkable musicians, even if just a passing comment, gave birth to a song that would resonate for decades. Stills’s ability to infuse such a maxim with his signature blend of earnest vocals, intricate guitar work, and a joyful, almost celebratory, rhythm is what makes the track so special.
The meaning of “Love the One You’re With” has been debated and interpreted in various ways over the years, often misunderstood as a simple endorsement of promiscuity or “free love.” However, a closer look at the lyrics and Stills’s own explanations reveals a far more nuanced and ultimately optimistic message. At its heart, the song is a pragmatic call to find contentment and connection in your immediate circumstances, especially when your ideal situation (or desired partner) is out of reach. It’s about recognizing the value in the present moment and the people who are currently in your life, rather than dwelling on what might be missing or unattainable. Lines like “If you’re down and confused / And you don’t remember who you’re talkin’ to / Concentration slip away / ‘Cause your baby is so far away” paint a picture of longing and emotional disarray. The chorus, then, acts as a gentle, yet firm, intervention: “Well, there’s a rose in a fisted glove / And the eagle flies with the dove / And if you can’t be with the one you love, honey / Love the one you’re with.” It’s an encouragement to turn heartache into joy, to appreciate the solace and companionship available right now, and to make the best of any situation.
For older readers, this message resonates with the wisdom gained through life’s experiences. It speaks to the recognition that perfection is often an elusive ideal, and that true happiness frequently lies in appreciating the imperfect, yet tangible, blessings in our immediate surroundings. It might evoke memories of making difficult choices, adapting to unforeseen circumstances, or simply learning to find joy in unexpected places. “Love the One You’re With” remains a testament to Stephen Stills’ brilliance as a songwriter – a song that, decades later, continues to offer a hopeful and deeply human philosophy for living, encouraging us to embrace the present and cultivate love wherever we find ourselves.