John Prine & Iris DeMent – “In Spite of Ourselves”: A Love Song That Laughs in the Face of Perfection
Few songs capture the messy, imperfect, and undeniably real side of love quite like “In Spite of Ourselves”. Written by John Prine and performed as a duet with Iris DeMent, this warm, humorous, and deeply human love song stands as one of Prine’s most charmingly offbeat compositions.
With its honky-tonk twang and wry storytelling, the song paints a picture of two people who are flawed, eccentric, and utterly devoted to each other despite their quirks. Prine, ever the master of character-driven songwriting, fills the lyrics with vivid, down-home imagery—his deep, weathered voice contrasting beautifully with DeMent’s playful, nasally twang, making their chemistry feel as authentic as an old married couple trading loving jabs across the dinner table.
Unlike traditional love songs that lean on grand romantic gestures, “In Spite of Ourselves” finds romance in the mundane, the awkward, and the downright silly. There’s a knowing wink in every verse, yet beneath the humor lies a deeper truth—love isn’t about perfection, it’s about acceptance. These two lovers, despite their odd habits and mismatched ways, are utterly devoted to one another, proving that true love isn’t about changing each other—it’s about embracing each other, warts and all.
Prine, who had just overcome a battle with cancer, wrote the song for his wife, Fiona, and included it on his 1999 album of the same name, which featured duets with various female artists. But it was this duet with DeMent that became the album’s defining moment—a funny, heartfelt, and joyfully off-kilter anthem to the kind of love that doesn’t make it into Hollywood movies but endures in the real world, through laughter, stubbornness, and unwavering devotion.