A Stream-of-Consciousness Requiem for the Unruly Spirit, Lost to the Lure of the Edge
The year was 1994, and after a silence that had stretched for fourteen long years since the last brilliant, jaded whisper of Steely Dan, the songwriting world finally heard the singular, cynical voice of Walter Becker standing alone. His debut solo album, 11 Tracks of Whack, was an eagerly awaited event, a chance to gauge which half of the legendary duo had provided the real “whack” in their unparalleled blend of jazz-rock sophistication and sardonic wit. While the album itself garnered critical attention and a loyal following, particularly among hardcore Steely Dan fans, it was largely overlooked by mainstream radio and failed to make a significant impact on the major charts, including the Billboard LP chart. This commercial reality, however, only serves to underscore the profoundly personal and uncompromising nature of tracks like “Surf and / or Die,” a deep cut that operates as a powerful, moving eulogy.
This is not a pop song; it is a confession and a lament, a narrative stream pouring straight from the heart of a man grappling with a sudden, tragic loss. The story behind “Surf and / or Die” is rooted in stark reality: it is a poignant requiem for a young friend of Becker’s in Hawaii who met his end in a hang-gliding accident. The title itself is a dark, existential twist on the “no guts, no glory” creed often whispered among those drawn to extreme, high-stakes experiences, whether it be surfing the colossal waves of the North Shore or catching air on a fragile glider wing. Becker confirmed the direct, literal source of inspiration, even mentioning in interviews how the song was sparked, in part, by the devastating experience of retrieving a phone message from the deceased after the accident.
The song’s meaning is a profound contemplation of mortality, the cruel caprice of a near-random universe, and the mundane aftermath of a life abruptly extinguished. Unlike the meticulously crafted, emotionally guarded narratives typical of classic Steely Dan, Becker’s lyrics here are raw, almost a panicked internal monologue. He doesn’t just recount the event; he navigates the gut-wrenching details that follow: the grim necessity of handling the dead man’s car and, most crushing of all, the harrowing task of breaking the news to the grandmother—a grandmother who, in the chillingly humanizing detail only Becker could devise, is to be told that her boy is “home for Christmas.” The words are a dizzying juggle of threads: existential philosophy giving way to domestic tragedy, with lines like, “In a near random universe there are still certain combinations… Playing havoc with the hearts and the upturned faces down below.” The song embraces the dizzying confusion and helplessness that accompanies sudden death, yet it does so with a poetic grace that rivals his finest work.
Musically, “Surf and / or Die” offers an unusual, almost hypnotic slab of funk-rock. The composition deliberately shuns the traditional verse-chorus structure, opting instead for a cyclical, almost relentless arrangement, perfectly reflecting the inescapable nature of grief and existential musing. This is not the pristine perfectionism of Aja—it’s raw, rhythmically driven, with an active, thumb-popping bass line and real, propulsive drums. Walter Becker’s vocal delivery—jaded, weary, yet intensely sincere—is perfectly suited to the somber subject matter. Then, in a masterstroke of musical and emotional resolution, a subtle drone, a genuine Tibetan Buddhist chant, begins to weave its way through the arrangement. This chant, a prayer for the dead, slowly envelops the instruments until it is the only sound left. It’s a sonic shift from chaos to repose, transforming the song from a desperate lament into a soothing call for the soul’s rest, providing a moment of transcendental peace after the emotional storm. For those of us who grew up with the dense, coded brilliance of Steely Dan, this personal, unvarnished outpouring from Becker remains one of the most unexpected and enduring moments of his remarkable career.